New research on female ejaculation in Sweden
Squirting orgasms in Rwanda I first met Jessica Påfs, a researcher at the University of Gothenburg in Sexual Health, in 2019 when she gave a lecture on female ejaculation before the documentary film “Sacred Water”. The film is about women in Rwanda who are interested in their “squirting orgasm”. Jessica became interested in female ejaculation while working on maternal health in Rwanda. She discovered that many were hesitant about taking birth control pills because they suspected that it could negatively affect their ability to ejaculate, which was seen as something positive and both important and natural there. Read more about the film in my blog about the UFO debate!
First Swedish study on female ejaculation Påfs has now conducted the first Swedish study on female ejaculation, which is fantastic! When I was at Karolinska several years ago and interviewed Olle Johansson, I learned that in his corridors, the phenomenon is called the UFO debate, hence the name of the aforementioned blog. Jessica confirms that female ejaculation is still a controversial topic.
In the study, she interviewed 28 women in depth. All had experienced a “fountain orgasm”. But the experience had given rise to different feelings: pride, shame, or wonder. She concluded that more knowledge is needed as well as increased understanding that this is a natural part of women’s sexuality. I’m really looking forward to further studies!
Tao and “the three holy waters” Jessica contacted me because she wanted to know more about Tao and what “the three holy waters” mean. Tao suggests that we have three different orgasmic flows. She heard about me because several of the women she interviewed knew Deborah Sundahl, my colleague and author of the book “Female ejaculation & the G-Spot”, which contains much of the research that has already been done on the subject. Deborah and I had courses and webinars together regularly.
It was incredibly exciting and fun to share thoughts and experiences with Jessica. I’ll tell you more later! Here is the link to the full study: A sexual superpower or a shame? Women´s diverging experiences of squirting/female ejaculation in Sweden
The Muscle of Qi and Orgasm!
Do you want to experience a richer sex life, increased desire and pleasure?
By learnin to relax the pelvic floor and use your muscles more consciously, you increase your chances for increased vitality and joy of life. This applies to both men and women. The Qi muscle, or orgasm muscle, as Tao also calls our pelvic floor muscles, is very important to practice, for both flexibility and relaxation. Both too tense and too weak can create imbalances and affect sexual function.
Why does the pelvic floor become unbalanced?
Stess is a common cause and makes us unconscious and all the energy goes up into the throat. Worry about not having enough and not having time makes us lose contact with the body. It is becoming increasingly difficult to find rest and recovery. Stress hormones also have a very negative effect on our sex hormones. Performance requirements and attempts to force an orgasm for women or hold back ejaculation for men are common reasons. Other causes are menopause, obesity, malaise, pregnancy, give birth, poor posture or a sedentary lifestyle.
It can also be previous trauma or abuse that has left its mark. Most of us have done, or been exposed to something we did not want or reprimanded in a way that filled us with shame. Then we have a tendency to abandon ourselves and the body to protect ourselves from the unpleasant feeling.
Can squeezing exercises help?
There is ample evidence that pelvic floor exercises pay off. Muscle strength is fresh and can quickly be trained if you do it properly and regularly. I was at the International Continence Societies (ICS) annual meeting i September 2019, where all world leaders in incontinence meet and share the latest research and experiences. They are surgeons, gynecologists, urologists and physiotherapists. For me, of cource, the physiotherapists´ evidence-based reserach was most interensting. So yes, it is possible to strenghten your pelvic floor. It is both proven and implemented worldwide. They also said that some need to ”downtrain”. Many are too tense and have learned to constantly hold their stomachs. It negatively affect the pelvic floor. Try to pull your stomach in yourself and feel what happens? When you know what muscles they are and how you can use them well you can start to develop more awareness. Both sensitivity and flexibility increase. It gives a feeling of coming home to security and trust. It means to be grounded in one´s own body and a natural self-esteem take place.
Women often experience a deep sense of joy and love when the pelvis is awakened to its full potential. Reclaiming the ability to orgasm fives a strong feeling of satisfaction. Self-love and gratitude fore one´s own body usually come in handy. Proper squeezing can prevent incontinence and prolapse as well as support sexual function and pleasure.
As men begin to relax and use their muscles more counsciously, they can begin to build their orgasmic energy and thus enjoy more. It has also been shown that pelvic floor training can increase men´s endurance in the love-making. Many men are very tense and need to learn to let go and relax. Then the blood circulation increases and more flow and feeling support sexual function and pleasure. It can also help your prostate to feel better.
SOME FACTS
The pelvic floor consists of a group of muscles, in different layers and levels. They form a ”floor” and goes from the tail bone to the pubic bone, and parts is attaced in the sitting bones. Many people are not aware of the condition of their pelvic floor and how important they are for health, well-being and sexual potential.
Surveys have shown:
9 out of 10 women have tension in the pelvis.
20-30% of women have never had or rarely have an orgasm.
17 % of men suffer from disturbed or non-existent erection.
10 % of men have problem with premature ejaculation.
10 % of men suffer from prostatitis at some point.
90 % are non bacterial, so-called chronic pelvic pain, which often is due to tense pelvic floor muscles.
Test your status on the Qi muscle
Both men an women:
Can you stop the jet by squeezing when you pee? If not, they may be wakened, or you don´t do it right.
Test for women:
Finger test: Raise a finger a little up in the vagina. Use oil or lubricant if necessary. Squeeze your finger with your muscles and judge how it feels?
Can not squeeze around the finger = weak
Can squeeze around the finger = resilient
Can not enter, or difficulties = tense
Test for men:
Check in a mirror that the base of the penis moves up towards the stomach and that the scrotum rises when you squeeze. Otherwise they may be weak.
The fact that your muscles feel weak can also be due to ignorance or unawareness about how to use your muscles. Then it´s about learning to get hold of them. Here comes an excercises.
Easy squeezing exercise for strenght and relaxation:
* Start by breathing down into your center behind and below the navel. Fill your entire center, feeling that breath reaches all the way to the lower back. Be present in the body and then focus your attention on the pelvic floor.
* Then squeeze 5 seconds and relax 5 seconds (the relaxation is as important). Do 10 squeez 3 times a day. Increase the number gradually.
Try different focus when squeeze: on the vagina/penis root and then the anus. In both cases imagine you draw energy up into the body.
Goal 30 squeeze per session a day five days a week until you are strong. Then you can continue with perseverance, awareness and sensitivity training as well.
Hope this has inspired and motivated you to move on.
Good luck with your pelvic floor practice.
You can read much more about the pelvic floor practice in my books:
Create Health with Your Sexual Energy:
The Tao Approach to Women´s Well-Being &
The Tao Approach to Men´s Well-Being
What is your experiences or thoughts about pelvic floor practice?
Comment below or contact me if you have any questions: info@bodycoach.nu
Testimonials:
Some comments from women who have trained their pelvic floor with squeezing exercises and/or jade egg training.
* I had not had sex for many years, neither with myself or anyone else. Started with squeezing and then jade egg. And, wow, I did not know that it could feel like this and that I had som much energy in my lower regions!
* I have been using my jade egg for almost a year and I am fascinated by how my yoni ”Awakened”. I am more receptive, relaxed and accepting of what i encounter in life.
* Exercising regularly has devenately increased my orgasmic potential and med me more curious about the pelvic floor area. I´m pretty sure it also benefited my immune system and helped me reduce fungus in my genitals.
Comments from men:
* I got an insight into my own pelvic floor for the first time for real. An understanding of the ”construction” more nuanced contact with ”new” muscles and an insight that I can squeeze in several different ways.
* With the help of techniques I can now relax better, but I also learned to use and move the muscles in order to regain a more normal function. Over the past year, I have learned that I can handle the tensions directly in the moment with willpower. It´s new to me and feels like a relief.
Sedan kan du börja träna uthållighet, medvetenhet och känslighet!
Hoppas detta har inspirerat och Lycka till med Din träning!
Testimonias
Några kommentarer från kvinnor som tränat sin bäckenbotten med knip och/eller jadeägg:
* Jag hade inte haft sex på många år, varken med mig själv eller någon annan. Började med knipövningar och sedan jadeägg träning. Och ojojoj, inte visste jag att det kunde kännas såhär och att jag hade så mycket energi i de nedre regionerna! 
* Jag har använt mitt jadeägg i snart ett år och jag är fascinerad över hur min yoni har ”vaknat”. Är mer intuitiv, avslappnad och accepterande till det jag möter i livet.
* Att träna regelbundet har definitivt ökat min orgasmiska potential och gjort mig mer nyfiken på området i bäckenbotten. Är ganska säker på att det även gynnat mitt immunförsvar och hjälpt mig minska svamp i underlivet.
Kommentarer från män:
* Jag fick en inblick i min egen bäckenbotten för första gången på riktigt. En förståelse för ”konstruktionen” mer nyanserad kontakt med ”nya” muskler och en insikt om att jag kan knipa på flera olika sätt.
* Med hjälp av olika tekniker kan jag nu slappna av bättre, men jag har också lärt mig att använda/röra på musklerna för att på så sätt återfå en mer normal funktion. Jag har under det senaste året lärt mig att jag kan hantera spänningarna direkt i stunden med viljekraft. Det är nytt för mig och känns som en stor lättnad.
The keys to pleasure is within you!
Tips for a better sexlife
Have you also noticed that many suggestions on how we can have a better love-life do not work in the long run? Tips, not the least in media, for a more pleasurable sex life are often about things we have to do out there, new places, new positions or new sex toys or pills and creams. Many people watch porn for inspiration. All this can of cource give a kick in the moment, but then? Are you one of us who still thinks that there must be something more to discover when it come sto sex? Do you long for deeper meetings and more pleasure? And wonder how to get there?
The only way out is in
The easiest way to speed up the spark is to communicate and tell each other what you long for and then try different ways to get there. It sounds simple, but if I do not know what it is then? To find out what your long for, what you need to turn your attention inward and practice listening to the body and to the longing of your soul and heart. When you feel your body and it becomes more receptive, it opens up and you can begin to be more intimate with yourself. The body will tell you it´s secrets. Imagine what joy and attraction you would have if you felt at home in your own body. If you had an obvious self-worth and mastered your orgasm.
Find your source
The crux is often that you do not have the patience to give this process the time it takes. Everything should go so fast today. We let ourselves be distracted by different things most of the time, the computer, the mobile phone, podcasts etc. Nothing wrong in itself, but if you only focus on things outside of yourself, you lose contact with the body and will be drained of your life energy. It´s time to start finding out what your heart really longs for and give yourself time to find the source of your live energy and pleasure.
3 keys to find the way to more pleasure:
* Reflect on nature. Take walks and let nature guide you. Immerse yourself in Mother Earth. Take in the sun´s radiant power. Open yourself and the mind to the forces of the universe, be receptive and listen to the wisdom. Remember that we all are part of something bigger then ourselves.
* Give yourself time every day where you turn your focus inward (if only for 5 min). Practice your mind to be present in the body. Feel, listen, look inside, pay attention to inner sensations. Follow the breath all the way in and toch your self from the inside.
* Set the energy in motion. Dance, move, swing your hips. Find what moves that gives you the most joy and pleasure.
I whish you a pleasant journey!
You can read much more in my book:
Create Health with Your Sexual Energy: The Tao Approach to Women´s Well-Being
What is your experiences or thoughts about going inside and finding new ways? Comment below or contact me if you have any questions: info@bodycoach.nu